[Dragaera] Gift Shop

[Scott Schultz]

Quoted for comparison:
> It so chanced to transpire that my beloved and honorable parents
> journeyed on a visit to Dragaera City just at that cusp of History
> when the conflict between Lord Adron e'Kieron and the Emperor
> Tortaalik occurred and climaxed with said city and its environs being
> dissolved and transformed into the Lesser Sea of Chaos, and while my
> parents were indeed enormously fortunate in escaping the Disaster with
> their lives, the only memento of the doomed city that they were able
> to procure for me was this very plain and simple garment that you now
> see before you, with its truncated sleeves and sadly cheap and
> lightweight fabric, a mere shirt.
>   --  A certain Gentleman of the House of the Hawk.

The use of "climax" as a verb has never felt comfortable to me aside from 
it's obvious sexual implications. I also nearly think that, while Paarfi is 
loquacious, that he is still, on his terms, efficient. He goes on at length 
about a particular subject because he has something to say about it. He 
doesn't pad out his writing with unneccesary (by his lights) verbiage simply 
to pad it out.

Try this on for size:

It chanced to transpire that my esteemed and honored parents
arrived in Dragaera City in search of rest and diversion from their daily
cares and duties at just that cusp in history when the conflict between
Emperor Tortaalik and Lord Adraon e'Kieron, the Dragon Heir,
erupted into open rebellion; culminating in the dissolution of the city
and its transformation into the Lesser Sea of Chaos, and, while I am 
grateful,
indeed, that they escaped the Disaster with their lives, I was disappointed 
to
learn that the only memento of the doomed city that they procured for me
was this very plain and simple garment that you  see now before you, with
its truncated sleeves and sadly cheap and lightweight fabric; a mere shirt.
  --  A certain Gentleman of the House of the Hawk.