[Dragaera] Gift Shop

[Frank Mayhar]

On Wed, 2008-01-09 at 13:20 -0800, Jerry Friedman wrote:
> hile joining in the general commendation of Davdi's idea
> (and Mark Mandel's condemnation of the "reply to sender"
> default--but thanks to Scott for returning this to me!),
> I have a few suggestions.
> 
> You got rid of the un-Paarfic "fused participle" in just the
> way I would have, and I especially like the last three words,
> but the repeated "A and B" construction doesn't sound right to
> me.  Also, I'd like to adhere more strictly to your suggestions
> about efficiency and emphasizing what the parents spent.  Also
> fewer "that"s.
> 
> My honored parents, in search of diversion from their cares
> and duties, sojourned at some expense in Dragaera City at just
> that cusp in history when the conflict between Emperor Tortaalik
> and Lord Adron e'Kieron, the Dragon Heir, erupted into open
> rebellion, culminating in the transformation of the city into
> the Lesser Sea of Chaos, and, while I am grateful, indeed, that
> they escaped the Disaster with their lives, I was disappointed
> to receive as a memento of the doomed city only this simple
> garment that you see, of cheap, lightweight fabric with
> truncated sleeves and collar; a mere shirt.
>    --  A certain Gentleman of the House of the Hawk.

This certainly seems to me to be the definitive version.  I doff my
(nonexistent) cap to you, sir!
-- 
Frank Mayhar frank at exit.com     http://www.exit.com/
Exit Consulting                 http://www.gpsclock.com/
                                http://www.exit.com/blog/frank/
                                http://www.zazzle.com/fmayhar*