[Dragaera] Giddy T-shirt par-ergon

[Elizabeth Dalton]

I propose to attempt a trial of both versions (those being considered by 
the references "Mk. 10" and "Mk. 11), using such illuminations and 
ornaments as may present themselves as appropriate to the literary 
essence of the text in question, and will submit the results of these 
efforts for your consideration under separate cover.

Elizabeth of Catspirit Wood

Davdi Silverrock wrote:
> On Jan 10, 2008 3:43 PM, Jerry Friedman wrote:
> 
> 
>>Also I think he says "chanced" mostly when chance is involved,
>>and I don't think we need "transpired" at all.  (In addition, I
>>suspect Paarfi prefers the older sense of "came to light, was
>>revealed".  I admit that "transpired" in the even older sense
>>goes nicely with shirts, though.)  And I like starting with "my"
>>and ending with "shirt".
> 
> 
> I think I very nearly won around to this point of view.  I did also
> like the idea of having some sort of preamble, such as "If I may offer
> two words: &c" or "Here it is then: &c", but I am persuaded otherwise.
> 
> 
>>On first-person pronouns, I admit that Paarfi says "we", but
>>starting with "Our" (even "Our parents--that is, those of the
>>wearer of this shirt--") strikes me as odd.
> 
> 
> I find that I must agree with this as well.  While Paarfi himself
> usually uses the plural first person, I can see no way for him to use
> this form when referring to his own parents without sounding odd, or
> even, indeed, strange.  Not to mention confusing and awkward.
> 
> That might be why it's better to use the more anonymous "A certain
> Gentleman of the House of the Hawk" rather than explicitly sign it as
> being by Paarfi.  There is more leeway that way, you observe.  The
> only concession that I made in that direction was to use "our
> history", which has the advantage of greater ambiguity of reference.
> 
> I also had the idea of checking various words using Amazon "Search
> Inside" to see if Paarfi ever in fact used those words in his works,
> in the hopes of finding more Paarfict phrasings.  I was startled to
> find that Paarfi almost never uses the word "parents", greatly
> preferring the phrase "mother and father" (or "father and mother"),
> when any individual refers to both personages.  Hence, the change in
> the very first few words.  Is there any objection?  I am not entirely
> wedded to the notion, you see.
> 
> My efforts in searching the books led me to change "cusp" to "crucial
> point", and "memento" to "token", and a few other changes as well.
> 
> In addition, I was strongly opposed to using "I was disappointed", and
> after contemplating the matter, I think now that I can articulate why:
> Paarfi, and those he writes of, tend to be both stoic and ironic.
> Being stoic means that they prefer to hide disappointment rather than
> express it, and being ironic means that they would prefer to use
> inverted meaning to express their disappointment when they do so.
> Hence, "had the honor to" -- followed by the excruciating detail of
> the poor quality of the shirt.
> 
> I started out this time with trying to word the skeletal phrases that
> would be expanded upon in the Paarfict mode:
> 
> "My parents went to Dragaera City and all I got was this lousy T-shirt."
> 
> "My parents went to Dragaera City and survived Adron's Disaster, and
> all I got was this lousy T-shirt."
> 
> "My parents went to Dragaera City, and while they survived Adron's
> Disaster, all I got was this lousy T-shirt."
> 
> (While I had the brief urge to translate "lousy" in its original sense
> of "vermin-ridden", I decided against that as well.)
> 
> Thus, my revision Mk. 10, which includes some of the suggestions from
> the various, er, variations:
> 
> My esteemed mother and father, in search of diversion from their
> diminishing duties and mounting cares, traveled to Dragaera City and
> sojourned there at no small expense (enjoying tolerably fine meals and
> wines), just at that crucial point in our history when riots and
> uprisings inflamed the city and the conflict between the Dragon Heir
> Lord Adron e'Kieron and the Phoenix Emperor Tortaalik erupted into
> open rebellion, culminating in the destruction and transformation of
> the city and its environs into the Lesser Sea of Chaos, and while I am
> indeed glad that my parents had the good fortune to escape the
> Disaster with their lives, all that I had the honor to receive as a
> token of their adventure was this very garment that you see before
> you, and which, you perceive, is made of cheap, lightweight fabric --
> a mere buttonless, collarless, short-sleeved shirt.
>  --  A certain Gentleman of the House of the Hawk.
> 
> While I like the above text, I Googled, and found that Cafepress has a
> 10"x10" template for their T-shirts.  The largest I can fit the above
> text into such a template, with 0 margins, is a 32pt font.  That's
> without an illuminated first cap.  I think we can trim quite a bit, if
> a larger font and/or more spacing is desired.
> 
> So after trimming and rewording quite a bit, I get this, which can be
> made larger:
> 
> Revision Mk 11 (trimmed - this fits in 10x10 space with a 40 pt font):
> 
> My esteemed parents traveled to Dragaera City just at that crucial
> point in history when the conflict between Lord Adron e'Kieron and
> Emperor Tortaalik erupted into open rebellion, culminating in the
> destruction and transformation of the city and its environs into the
> Lesser Sea of Chaos, and while I am indeed glad that my parents had
> the good fortune to escape the Disaster with their lives, all that I
> had the honor to receive as a token of their adventure was this very
> garment that you see before you, and which, you perceive, is made of
> cheap, thin fabric -- a buttonless, collarless, short-sleeved shirt.
> 
> And one more note:  While it is currently all one sentence, I am
> wondering if we should be splitting it in two at the ", and while"
> point.
> 
> 
> Comments?
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-- 
--
Elizabeth Dalton
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