[Dragaera] Almost Paarfict?

[Davdi Silverrock]

Since I myself, after looking at it and thinking on it, found the
phrase "torso-shaped" to be imPaarfict, I performed one more
adjectivectomy.


Revision Mk. 25:

My esteemed mother and father traveled to Dragaera City for a holiday,
enjoying the city's tolerably fine meals and expensive entertainments,
but the unfortunate timing of their sojourn led to its interruption by
the riots and uprisings in the city preceding that crucial point in
our history when the conflict between the Dragon Heir Lord Adron
e'Kieron and the Phoenix Emperor Tortaalik erupted into open
rebellion, culminating in the explosion of raw amorphia that
transformed the city and its environs into the Lesser Sea of Chaos;
and while I am indeed glad that my parents had the good fortune to
escape the Disaster with their lives, they pretended that due to the
haste of their departure from the city, the only token of their
adventure they could do me the honor of presenting to me was this
unremarkable garment of sadly cheap and common fabric you now see
before you, which, you perceive, is merely some sort of shirt.
 --  Two words from a certain Gentleman of the House of the Hawk.

As ever: Comments?  Does it have wit, snark and punch?
I suspect that Dr. Whom may well recommend punctuation changes, but I
think the wording is tolerably suitable.