[Dragaera] Onions Of The Houses

[Jon Lincicum]

Okay, I generally agree with most of these... Here are some offerings of 
my own where I either see the houses a bit differently, or have 
attempted to rephrase the sentiment to make it a bit punchier.

Will Frank wrote:
> So. In the beginning of _Yendi_ Vlad talks about how life is like an onion, 
> and starts to go into how that analogy applies to each House. He only gets 
> through four, however, before stopping. (Well, three; then he claims to 
> stop, then gives the Jhereg analogy.)
>
> I wondered: what are the other Houses' onion analogies? And then I wrote 
> down my thoughts...
>
> Lyorn: Know and have recorded the conditions of virtually every onion grown, 
> and every way to prepare them, dating from the founding of the Empire.
>   
Lyorn: Do not cut out the bad spots at all, they simply remark on them, 
note how many there are, and where, so that future generations will know 
exactly what the correct ratio of bad onions to good onions was.
> Tiassa: Plan elaborate meals, but don't really thoroughly check for bad 
> spots. Good at dealing with bad spots they find later, though.
>   
Tiassa: Come up with innovative ways to avoid the bad spots, then forget 
to cook the meal.

> Issola: Make elaborate onion dishes which mask the bad spots.
>   
Issola: Make you *want* to eat the bad spots.
> Tsalmoth: Spend almost all their time looking for bad spots, forgetting to 
> actually cook a meal.
>   
Tsalmoth: Get so busy cutting out bad spots that they forget to eat. But 
that doesn't stop them.
> Vallista: Throw out the old onions and bring in a new, fresh barrel.
>   
Vallista: Figure if onions have bad spots, it's time to grow something 
else entirely.

> Iorich: Make sure that only good onions, without bad spots, get sold.
>   
Iorich: The onions must be judged one at a time, and if bad spots are 
found, those onions are given a fair trial under the Orb before being 
disposed of.

> Orca: Very good at selling onions--by practically bullying buyers.
>   
Orca: You don't see no bad spots. Do ya? DO YA?
> Teckla: The ones who actually grow the onions.
>   
Teckla: If they ever saw an onion without bad spots, they would think it 
was some other kind of vegetable entirely.
> Athyra: Look for new onion dishes and varieties to expand their repertoire.
>   
Athyra: Try to figure out ways to make their enemies eat the bad spots 
as a means to increase their power..

Majikjon