[Dragaera] Gift Shop

[Davdi Silverrock]

I just realized that changing the one word "resulting" to "climaxed"
leaves the phrase being less easily readable.

The conflict resulted in the city being destroyed. - OK

The conflict climaxed in the city being destroyed. - As it stands, the
phrase looks like it's saying at first that the climax *occurred*
*inside* *of* the city; then the reader has to back up and re-parse.
I vaguely remember this type of wording being written up somewhere.
I'd like to avoid it.

The conflict climaxed *with* the city being destroyed. -  Better, but
I may just go back to "resulting in".

The conflict occurred and climaxed *with* the city being destroyed. -
I think that's better.


And now I find myself wanting to reword the beginning and ending a bit
more. And I want to make sure that the attribution stays in.  Ah,
writing.


Take 7:

It so chanced to transpire that my beloved and honorable parents
journeyed on a visit to Dragaera City just at that cusp of History
when the conflict between Lord Adron e'Kieron and the Emperor
Tortaalik occurred and climaxed with said city and its environs being
dissolved and transformed into the Lesser Sea of Chaos, and while my
parents were indeed enormously fortunate in escaping the Disaster with
their lives, the only memento of the doomed city that they were able
to procure for me was this very plain and simple garment that you now
see before you, with its truncated sleeves and sadly cheap and
lightweight fabric, a mere shirt.
  --  A certain Gentleman of the House of the Hawk.

And now I am not certain if that final comma should not in fact be a
semicolon, or even a colon.  Ah, writing.

I very nearly think I need sleep.