[Dragaera] A more Paarfict union (of words)?

[Davdi Silverrock]

Revision Mk. 27.1.long (165 words):

My esteemed mother and father traveled to Dragaera City for a holiday,
enjoying the city's tolerably fine meals and expensive entertainments,
but the unfortunate timing of their sojourn led to its interruption by
the riots and uprisings in the city preceding that crucial point in
our history when the conflict between the Dragon Heir Lord Adron
e'Kieron and the Phoenix Emperor Tortaalik erupted into open
rebellion, culminating in the explosion of raw amorphia that
transformed the city and its environs into the Lesser Sea of Chaos.
While I have the honor to gladly report that my parents had the good
fortune to escape the Disaster with their lives, they pretended that
due to the haste of their departure from the city, the only token of
their adventure they could present to me was, you perceive, this
nearly unremarkable garment of sadly cheap and common fabric, which is
merely some sort of shirt.
 --  Two words from a certain Gentleman of the House of the Hawk.


Revision Mk. 27.2.short (125 words):

My esteemed parents traveled to Dragaera City for a holiday, but the
unfortunate timing of their sojourn led to its interruption by the
unrest preceding that crucial point in our history when the conflict
between Lord Adron e'Kieron and Emperor Tortaalik erupted into open
rebellion, culminating in the explosion of raw amorphia that
transformed the city and its environs into the Lesser Sea of Chaos.
While I have the honor to gladly report that my parents escaped the
Disaster, they pretended that due to the haste of their departure from
the city, the only token of their adventure they could present to me
was, you perceive, this nearly unremarkable sort of shirt.
 --  Two words from a certain Gentleman of the House of the Hawk.


Flow better?  Flow worse?  Punch, wit, snark -- present in sufficient quantity?