[Dragaera] Giddy T-shirt par-ergon

[Mark A. Mandel]

May I suggest substituting a semicolon for the comma preceding "and while I am indeed glad"? In my opinion (I haven't the time to make this post more Paarfi-ish) it will improve the rhythm and readability.

m a m

----- Original Message ----
From: Davdi Silverrock <davdisil at gmail.com>
To: Dragaera List <dragaera at dragaera.info>
Sent: Saturday, January 12, 2008 11:40:33 PM
Subject: Re: [Dragaera] Giddy T-shirt par-ergon

[ Ponders adjectives, sleeve length variation, and the vague but
important concept of "punch" ]

Mk 13 (This is sleeve-length-neutral; does it have a sufficiency of
 punch?):

My esteemed mother and father, in search of diversion from their
diminishing duties and mounting cares, traveled to Dragaera City and
sojourned there at no small expense (enjoying tolerably fine meals and
wines), just at that crucial point in our history when riots and
uprisings inflamed the city, and the conflict between the Dragon Heir
Lord Adron e'Kieron and the Phoenix Emperor Tortaalik erupted into
open rebellion, culminating in the destruction of the city and its
environs and their transformation into the Lesser Sea of Chaos, and
while I am indeed glad that my parents had the good fortune to escape
the Disaster with their lives, all that I had the honor to receive as
a token of their adventure was this very garment that you see before
you, and which, you perceive, is made of cheap, common, lightweight
fabric -- this buttonless, collarless, cruciform shirt.
 --  Two words from a certain Gentleman of the House of the Hawk.
_______________________________________________
Dragaera mailing list
Dragaera at lists.dragaera.info
http://lists.dragaera.info/listinfo.cgi/dragaera-dragaera.info






      ____________________________________________________________________________________
Be a better friend, newshound, and 
know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile.  Try it now.  http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ