[Dragaera] Gift Shop

Steve Rapaport steve at romlin.com
Tue Jan 15 05:02:11 PST 2008


Nobody's asked for my opinion, but I like this one better than the others in
some ways -- I was always unhappy with the parenthetical details about the
food and holiday.

I'd modify it a little to sound less breathless though, and make it end with
"shirt" and start with "my parents":



> Submitted for your consideration:
>
> My beloved and honourable parents so chanced to be on
> holiday in Dragaera City, just at that cusp of History when the conflict
> between Lord Adron e'Kieron and the Emperor Tortaalik erupted into open
> rebellion, resulting in said
> city and its environs being dissolved and transformed into the Lesser
> Sea of Chaos. While my parents were indeed enormously fortunate in
> being able to escape the Disaster with their lives, all that they were
> able to procure for me as a memento of their visit to the doomed city
> was this cheap, lightweight garment with truncated sleeves which you do me
> the honour of observing; alas, a mere shirt.
>   --  A certain Gentleman of the House of the Hawk.
>
> (Milord Dr. Whom -- would you be so kind as to proofread the above
> paragraph, or we might say, sentence?  I am not entirely certain that
> the grammar is in point of fact entirely proper.)
> _______________________________________________
> Dragaera mailing list
> Dragaera at lists.dragaera.info
> http://lists.dragaera.info/listinfo.cgi/dragaera-dragaera.info
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>       ____________________________________________________________________________________
> Never miss a thing.  Make Yahoo your home page.
> http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs
> _______________________________________________
> Dragaera mailing list
> Dragaera at lists.dragaera.info
> http://lists.dragaera.info/listinfo.cgi/dragaera-dragaera.info
>



-- 
\Steve



More information about the Dragaera mailing list