[Dragaera] Striving towards Paarfiction...

[Maximilian Wilson]

On Jan 14, 2008 11:44 PM, Davdi Silverrock <davdisil at gmail.com> wrote:
> > 1.) I could live without the parenthetical remark about "in addition
> > to uprisings." Paarfi is probably being ironic here because uprisings
> > are hardly worthy to be mentioned in the same breath as the
> > destruction of the heart of the Dragaeran Empire, but the irony
> > doesn't add enough humor to be worth the distraction. Strunk & White
> > would disapprove of that clause, I think.
>
> I think Paarfi would include the uprisings in order to cast a sharp
> contrast with the immediately preceding descriptions of luxury, so as
> to emphasize the implications of the decadence of the milieu, thus
> adding a slight, subtle condemnation of the parents even here.  Or
> something like that.
>
> I'm thinking of a slight rephrase to: "just at that crucial point in
> our history when, subsequent to unrest and uprisings in the city"

Okay. I see your point about the uprisings, and I'm not really sure
either way. When I went back and took a second look at Mk. 18, I
didn't have a problem with it, flow-wise. However, I agree that
"subsequent to" is probably better because it ties the uprisings to
the Disaster.

-Max

-- 
"The presentation or 'gift' of the Holy Ghost simply confers upon a
man the right to receive at any time, when he is worthy of it and
desires it, the power and light of truth of the Holy Ghost, although
he may often be left to his own spirit and judgment." --Joseph F.
Smith (manual, p. 69)

Be pretty if you are,
Be witty if you can,
But be cheerful if it kills you.