[Dragaera] Gift Shop

Diana diana.neat at gmail.com
Wed Jan 9 05:49:42 PST 2008


> Take 7:
>
> It so chanced to transpire that my beloved and honorable parents
> journeyed on a visit to Dragaera City

While I am certainly mindful of the fact that the purpose of this
enterprise may be somewhat at odds with the act of removing words from
the statement, might I humbly suggest that "my beloved and honorable
parents sojourned in Dragaera City" as a slightly more elegant
alternative to "journeyed on a visit"? In addition, one might be able
to "journey on a visit" without ever reaching one's intended
destination, but the quality that we would wish to emphasize is not
only the fact that a journey took place, but that those journeying
reached their destination and remained for an indefinite, but not
brief, period of time.

Use of "visit" is, as we are all aware, traditional in this variety of
statements, but I nearly think that the emphasis on the garment's
qualities at the close of the sentence would suffice in identifying
the source of the joke to one's readers.



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