[Dragaera] Giddy T-shirt par-ergon

[Rick Castello]

On Sat, January 12, 2008 7:50 pm, Maximilian Wilson wrote:
> On Jan 12, 2008 5:55 PM, Davdi Silverrock <davdisil at gmail.com> wrote:
> [snip]
>> you, and which, you perceive, is made of cheap, lightweight fabric --
>> a mere buttonless, collarless, short-sleeved shirt.
>>  --  Two words from a certain Gentleman of the House of the Hawk.
>>
>> Um. I noticed that Cafepress has *long* sleeved T-shirts as well.
>> Should I reword that final phrase?
>
> Please do. There are too many adjectives in the shirt description. It
> lacks the punch of some of the earlier versions.

     Agreed... and though I'm a bit late to the party on this, having
     avoided my mailbox studiously for the weekend's time, I find that
     I prefer the earlier versions that left out so much description
     about the parents' status in life...

     It feels like "diminishing duties and mounting cares", etc is a bit
     much to me and lessens the "punch".

     Just my own two words...

     -Rick