[Dragaera] Giddy T-shirt par-ergon

[Davdi Silverrock]

On Jan 14, 2008 11:53 AM, Rick Castello wrote:
>
> On Mon, January 14, 2008 11:20 am, Davdi Silverrock wrote:

> > Is this better? :
> >
> > My esteemed mother and father traveled to Dragaera City in search of
> > diversion, and sojourned there at no small expense (enjoying tolerably
> > fine meals and entertainments), (&c)
>
>      For my own tastes, I find this much better.
>
>      I would not even blanch at the removal of the parenthetical phrase,
>      thus allowing the spectacle of the collapse to keep more of the focus
>      in the narrative, increasing the final surprise that this flowery and
>      descriptive discourse is none but a whiny scion upset about the
>      lack of loot brought back by the esteemed parental units.

Heh.

The reason I like that phrase, though, is that I think it emphasizes
the (self-)justification for the complaint that comes later; they did
not just go to Dragaera City, they went there and had a *really*
*great* time.

It also references that thread of decadence in Dragaera City that
appears throughout FHYA -- there's drought, economic crises, and food
shortages among the lower classes, yet the upper classes are
oblivious, and insist on their parties and luxuries.

Hm, I think I can even unparenthetize it:

My esteemed mother and father traveled to Dragaera City in search of
diversion, and sojourned there at no small expense, enjoying the
city's tolerably fine meals and entertainments, just at that crucial
point in our history when, in addition to unrest and uprisings in the
city (&c)

>
>      Who says Paarfi can't have a good sense of comic timing?  *grin*
>

Oh, I nearly think he does.  All I can do is strive to emulate...