[Dragaera] Striving towards Paarfiction...

[Elizabeth Dalton]

Davdi Silverrock wrote:
> Hm.  We can go tubeless...
> 
> "was the simple garment that you see before you, which, you perceive,
> is of sadly cheap and common fabric, and an untailored, buttonless,
> collarless design that slides closely over the torso and arms, mocking
> their shape: this very shirt."
> 
> Too long?  Lacking punch?  Can has punch?

I can has punch? (Maybe no more punch... feeling a bit giddy as it is, 
after all these text transformations....)

I think you could skip "that slides...shape." I can fit a lot of words 
in a 10x10 square, but I like the punch of this conclusion:

"was the simple garment that you see before you, which, you perceive,
is of sadly cheap and common fabric, and an untailored, buttonless,
collarless design: this very shirt."

In addtion, I very nearly like the parentheses-less description of the 
activities in Dragaera city. I favor the stress on the decadence (if I 
may call it that) prominent in Dragaera City at that time, as well as 
the ironic contrast with the quality of the souvenir received as a 
result of the visit.

--
Elizabeth Dalton
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