[Dragaera] Striving towards Paarfiction...

[Davdi Silverrock]

On Jan 14, 2008 12:54 PM, Elizabeth Dalton <dalton_0907 at gaeacoop.org> wrote:
>
>
> I think you could skip "that slides...shape." I can fit a lot of words
> in a 10x10 square, but I like the punch of this conclusion:
>
> "was the simple garment that you see before you, which, you perceive,
> is of sadly cheap and common fabric, and an untailored, buttonless,
> collarless design: this very shirt."
>

Perhaps a shorter compromise (with Philip's suggested modification)?

"was the simple garment that you see before you, which, you perceive,
is of sadly cheap and common fabric and untailored, buttonless,
collarless design that mimics the shape of the torso and arms: this very shirt."

But we can strike the "that mimics the shape of the torso and arms".

Allow me to ponder it at bit more, and see what comments, if any, are
offered on this wording.