[Dragaera] Striving towards Paarfiction...

[Davdi Silverrock]

On Jan 16, 2008 10:33 AM, Philip Hart wrote:
>
>
> On Wed, 16 Jan 2008, Davdi Silverrock wrote:
>
> > and while I am indeed glad that my parents had the good fortune to
> > escape the Disaster with their lives, they pretended
>
> Here there's no logical flow between "I am glad" and "they pretended"
> in the absence of the "disappointed" phrase.  I think this requires
> "I must note that" before the latter phrase.
>

Hm.  Doesn't the use of "while" provide that flow?  That is to say:
"While {X} did happen, {something that contrasts with X} also
happened.

>
> It's pretty hard to keep up.
>

*Shrugs helplessly*.

We have a goal that is the combination of several disparate subgoals,
some even slightly at odds: We wish to reference a common phrase in a
novel and amusing way; we wish to pastiche Paarfi; we wish to fit a
text inside a 10"x10" area; we wish to be generally witty and
articulate; we wish to avoid inducing ennui in the reader.

Obviously, there will be a certain degree of disagreement, some even
internal to our own minds, as how to best achieve these goals.