[Dragaera] Almost Paarfict?

[Jon Lincicum]

 -------------- Original message ----------------------
From: "Davdi Silverrock" <davdisil at gmail.com>
> Since I myself, after looking at it and thinking on it, found the
> phrase "torso-shaped" to be imPaarfict, I performed one more
> adjectivectomy.
> 
> 
> Revision Mk. 25:
> 
> My esteemed mother and father traveled to Dragaera City for a holiday,
> enjoying the city's tolerably fine meals and expensive entertainments,
> but the unfortunate timing of their sojourn led to its interruption by
> the riots and uprisings in the city preceding that crucial point in
> our history when the conflict between the Dragon Heir Lord Adron
> e'Kieron and the Phoenix Emperor Tortaalik erupted into open
> rebellion, culminating in the explosion of raw amorphia that
> transformed the city and its environs into the Lesser Sea of Chaos;
> and while I am indeed glad that my parents had the good fortune to
> escape the Disaster with their lives, they pretended that due to the
> haste of their departure from the city, the only token of their
> adventure they could do me the honor of presenting to me was this
> unremarkable garment of sadly cheap and common fabric you now see
> before you, which, you perceive, is merely some sort of shirt.
>  --  Two words from a certain Gentleman of the House of the Hawk.
> 
> As ever: Comments?  Does it have wit, snark and punch?
> I suspect that Dr. Whom may well recommend punctuation changes, but I
> think the wording is tolerably suitable.

Instead of "is merely some sort of shirt."

How about "one might nearly think is but a shirt"?

Majikjon

Or is trying to cram "Nearly" in there one Paarfiism too many?